did you get engaged???
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize