I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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