Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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