y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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