Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
