It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
