and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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