Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
