They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
