Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
