Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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