I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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