FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
