Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
