Im at strip club and am horny
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
