I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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