We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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