watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
