Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
