I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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