Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
