yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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