Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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