Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
