I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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