Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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