I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
