Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
