Having a random hookup so left but love u
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
