1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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