my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize