ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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