i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
