i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
