The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
