My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
His hands were made for my vagina.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
