Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
