Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He kissed a someone with a penis
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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