i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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