I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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