i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
