Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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