I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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