I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
