...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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