this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
