Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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