You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You made out with two different species that night
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
