her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
