You're so nebulous sometimes
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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