i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize