i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
