Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
