she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dating After Heartbreak
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?