Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.

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  (770): she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front. http://tfl.nu/f1w0
  Replies (38) Good night (688) Bad night (1729)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.

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  (801): She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid. http://tfl.nu/lqbk
  Replies (11) Good night (735) Bad night (2504)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at

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  (732): I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at http://tfl.nu/9oei
  Replies (20) Good night (4728) Bad night (596)
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  (762): View more from Georgia

  Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.

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  (762): Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please. http://tfl.nu/mnuz
  Replies (52) Good night (5413) Bad night (709)
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  (415): View more from California

  i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.

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  (415): i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting. http://tfl.nu/f0mf
  Replies (16) Good night (2539) Bad night (969)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today

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  (850): I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today http://tfl.nu/9m95
  Replies (18) Good night (4688) Bad night (1137)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.

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  (612): i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high. http://tfl.nu/z4jl
  Replies (25) Good night (5701) Bad night (861)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  And you didn't burst into flames?

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  (339): He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church. (1-203): And you didn't burst into flames? http://tfl.nu/aa0l
  Replies (14) Good night (5422) Bad night (1126)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."

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  (+44): All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis." http://tfl.nu/rkkz
  Replies (10) Good night (976) Bad night (3154)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  It is literally 8 in the morning.

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  (402): NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!! (1-402): It is literally 8 in the morning. http://tfl.nu/koue
  Replies (10) Good night (3186) Bad night (1188)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.

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  (251): Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night. http://tfl.nu/kxkv
  Replies (5) Good night (559) Bad night (1397)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south

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  (205): I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south http://tfl.nu/kpax
  Replies (8) Good night (1642) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline

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  (831): Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline http://tfl.nu/8i35
  Replies (9) Good night (554) Bad night (1169)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now

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  (978): At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now http://tfl.nu/9tr0
  Replies (7) Good night (487) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night

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  (585): I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night http://tfl.nu/wd4l
  Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (170)

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