Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...

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  (440): that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water... http://tfl.nu/dw5a
  Replies (12) Good night (698) Bad night (4168)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.

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  (202): Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death. http://tfl.nu/mvsk
  Replies (12) Good night (1118) Bad night (5052)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted

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  (860): I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted http://tfl.nu/x75x
  Replies (7) Good night (4229) Bad night (731)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?

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  (316): i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight? http://tfl.nu/82sl
  Replies (73) Good night (9884) Bad night (2300)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.

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  (469): I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed. http://tfl.nu/fhfj
  Replies (33) Good night (6124) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.

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  (216): somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen. http://tfl.nu/y8ck
  Replies (17) Good night (9106) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.

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  (402): Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs. http://tfl.nu/4vu7
  Replies (16) Good night (2515) Bad night (807)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.

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  (786): you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat. http://tfl.nu/8z2x
  Replies (14) Good night (1270) Bad night (2205)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...

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  (701): Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab... http://tfl.nu/8q0e
  Replies (5) Good night (2377) Bad night (516)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.

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  (503): My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again. http://tfl.nu/bmoz
  Replies (7) Good night (1373) Bad night (436)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON

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  (414): Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON http://tfl.nu/rpwp
  Replies (7) Good night (1472) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.

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  (818): You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it. http://tfl.nu/2dbt
  Replies (3) Good night (578) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.

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  (570): If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it. http://tfl.nu/cvsi
  Replies (3) Good night (850) Bad night (375)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.

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  (720): This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you. http://tfl.nu/ixe4
  Replies (1) Good night (1220) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps

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  (203): You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps http://tfl.nu/59la
  Replies (0) Good night (766) Bad night (313)

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