his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
