Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head

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  (540): Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head http://tfl.nu/ec63
  Replies (2) Good night (2651) Bad night (642)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"

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  (814): I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?" http://tfl.nu/d4r4
  Replies (120) Good night (1819) Bad night (4689)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's

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  (410): and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's http://tfl.nu/kr0l
  Replies (25) Good night (2949) Bad night (690)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber

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  (443): he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber http://tfl.nu/w4rq
  Replies (20) Good night (1790) Bad night (5024)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.

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  (978): So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease. http://tfl.nu/08pd
  Replies (18) Good night (1121) Bad night (6268)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.

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  (334): You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool. http://tfl.nu/6ccl
  Replies (7) Good night (1235) Bad night (3626)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.

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  (248): I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell. http://tfl.nu/ttak
  Replies (9) Good night (2869) Bad night (1032)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"

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  (765): You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?" http://tfl.nu/g1nx
  Replies (21) Good night (1521) Bad night (4132)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom

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  (509): Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom http://tfl.nu/fom9
  Replies (18) Good night (3477) Bad night (1051)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.

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  (860): you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something. http://tfl.nu/oy26
  Replies (5) Good night (913) Bad night (403)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels

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  (403): My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels http://tfl.nu/2oli
  Replies (1) Good night (667) Bad night (439)
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  (818): View more from California

  Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.

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  (818): Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail. http://tfl.nu/0wm6
  Replies (1) Good night (373) Bad night (505)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"

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  (941): She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you" http://tfl.nu/2vwa
  Replies (2) Good night (537) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call

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  (301): Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call http://tfl.nu/0acs
  Replies (2) Good night (472) Bad night (281)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory

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  (414): And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory http://tfl.nu/q3uf
  Replies (1) Good night (210) Bad night (253)

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