I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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