He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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