Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
