well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
