I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
