just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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