Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
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I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just found puke in my bra..
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
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I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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