I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
