okay pat passed out under dana's car
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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