Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
