You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
sex in a hospital.. check
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
